My sons are a very big part of my life, from the time I wake up (or get woken up as the case most often is), until the time I go to bed (which is usually in the chair in my older son's room).

Most children sleep until 8 or 9 in the morning maybe take a nap midday and are asleep by 8 pm latest. I don't believe that my older son is a normal sleeper, but we're not what America considers a "traditional" family. Normal by current American definition, but not traditional. Both my wife and I work earlier in the day, this means that we are up and around by 5:30am, which is probably why my son is able to be up and alert that early in the morning. I suppose it IS normal for him. When he finally decides to go down at night, it can be as early as 7:30pm and as late as 9:30pm. Most of the time it is about 8:30pm. I guess that makes it look normal. His naps are steady during the week when he is at daycare. He gets about 2-3 hours midday... at daycare. On the weekends we're lucky if we get an hour or so out of him. When we don't, he goes to sleep a little earlier, but that doesn't happen often. A more likely scenario is that he takes a nap at around 2 or 3 and wakes up around 5 or 6. This sets up for the fact that he doesn't want to go to bed around 8pm... which is why daddy falls asleep in the chair while older boy sleeps in his bed.

This brings up a funny situation... one that I'm sure will be repeated again. My son fell asleep at 4:30pm coming back from gramma's house. I carried him into his bed and let him sleep, figuring that he'd sleep all night. He's done it before. At 9:45pm he comes into our room, awake and wanting a story. I read one (Clifford, the Big Red Dog), get him a glass of water (on the edge of our bed) and walked him back to his room to go back to sleep. He settled in, as did I, and we both started to sleep. I vaguely remember him getting out of bed and coming to see me. When I next saw the clock it was 1:30am and as I got out of the chair my son was nowhere to be found. I went into my bedroom and there, on my side of the bed, he'd fallen asleep, probably not long after I dozed off. Stinker had decided that "mommy&daddy's" bed was the place to be and daddy could well just stay in his room. I now make sure that I try to stay awake until I'm sure he's down for the count... not that I'm sure that I'll stay awake, but I'm going to try.

My son's 3rd birthday party was today. Nevermind the fact that it was 4 days after the fact. When you are working parents and so are all your friends, birthdays never mean much until the party happens. Yes, we celebrate the day with a little cake and song, but the party occurs on a weekend whether it falls on one or not.

He had a bounce house... a dragon. One that, while he stood on the balcony at gramma & grampa's, rose to glory right in front of him. We planned it that way, my father-in-law and I. Side-effects were that my son didn't really want to play with the dragon, 'cause he didn't want to get eaten. That lasted until our friends got here and all the "big kids" (that would be the other dads and I) took over the dragon and just sat inside batting a couple of balls around to each other. Then he and the other kids came in full force and joined in the fun getting bonked by the flying projectiles... much fun to be had.

You want to make sure that your children have the best possible time and have the best memory possible of their birthdays. New parents don't kid yourselves... this time is for you, not them. Your kids won't remember. Just get lots of pictures and you're covered for the future eventuality that your kids will ask about their parties.

Nowadays I end up bringing my oldest son to his bed at night and sitting with him while he drifts off to sleep. This is a practice that sometimes brings me great joy... It is what it is. A little quality quiet time with my son. We start off in "mommy&daddy's room" where we read a story. Then he gets a small glass of water on the edge of our bed. He then says "I want to go to sleep in my room" and off we go. I sit in a chair next to the bed with the lights off and he settles down with his Fisher Price Aquarium on (his "fishies" he calls them), playing a rather tinny lullaby (for 6 minutes, I timed it). He may or may not get one more cycle of the aquarium (which he will reset if he wants), but usually it is enough to put him to sleep. I sneak off back to our bedroom (after usually napping in the chair for a few), and settle down... it's blissfull... most of the time.

I get a little frustrated sometimes wishing my son would go to bed on his own and let me have a bit more "me-time." I sometimes want to get another comic done for my webcomic (follow K'CHK on the links area) or relax on the computer, or watching TV. As I haven't really started my webcomic but the one for now, I just put it off for another time. After all, I will eventually have more than enough time to get more done. As for TV, that's why man invented recording devices and the weekend... Still it gets to me.

New parents probably feel this way. I'm in no way shape or form a new parent, but I have 2 boys both under 5. I understand the time constraints that taking care of 2 kids requires, but I didn't at first. After we found out we were having a second child, I figured we had it all covered. We'd been through the trial and tribulations of finding out what taking care of a child was like. Piece of cake, we thought. Parents expecting a second child: Be prepared to lose whatever precious time you may have had free. A second child is another ball game because now you have two infant egos to feed. When one isn't feeding or throwing an unknown tantrum, the other will be. You may know what to expect from the new child, just don't expect to have the time that you had with your first to deal with it. Become real creative on how you schedule time and you may just get a handle on it... for a little while at least.

As for free time, I take it when I can get it. I don't expect to have it every day, I just bask in the moment when I can settle down and do something not child related...

But the moment when my little boy snuggles in to bed with the fading lullaby in his ears... that's worth a lot more than finding a little free time. It won't last much longer, and I'll just have to get as much in as I can... before he tells me "Daddy, I'm a big boy. I can go to bed by myself..."

Just a tidbit o'ken...

My 3 year old woke up this morning crying at around 4:30am. Not too different from most mornings, except for the crying part. When I inquired as to the source of his distress, he briefly recounted that his puppet was stolen. More inquiries from myself and my wife brought out more of the story. It seems that a bad man, a witch in this case, had stolen his cow puppet. We consoled him as best as we were able and within a short time he was back to his normal self wanting to go downstairs and watch "Handy Manny" on the Disney Channel.

The moral?
Dreams don't make sense. Mine certainly don't to me, and I don't attempt to try to delve into the psyche and determine what generated his. It's best to deal with the immediate issue, that of his distress. Dreams fade quickly and while you may remember most of them at a later time it's best just to let them go. Good dreams fade as fast as bad ones, so what can we do?

New parents... when bad dreams intrude on your youngster's life, comfort them. Don't try to explain that this wasn't real, because that concept is beyond the scope of most toddlers. Give them love and redirect the dream to real life, where immediate happiness awaits.

Just a tidbit o'ken...

Today my oldest turns 3 years old. Man, sometimes I wonder where the time goes. I've been thinking about starting this for a long time, and now I guess is the best time to work on it. I've been thinking a lot of how much I know and want to be able to tell my children. I know that all signs point to my being able to do so, but the problem is how am I going to remember what to say when the time comes? So I set out to think about a way to do so. I figured a document on the computer would be the best way, but how to get it done when I'm not around my home PC? Well, I set up a specific blog and category just for this purpose. Now, if I have an internet connection I can tell my children what I want, I just have to remember where this is when the time comes.